


creepy, kooky, mysterious, and spooky (and altogether ooky)

by samwhambam



Category: Schitt's Creek
Genre: A little spooky, Gen, Ray is very brave, Stand Alone Chapters, a ficlet collection, alexis has a ghost, but spook level will be mentioned in the beginning notes, fic 10 is bob + ghost, fic 11 is david + witchcraft, fic 12 is alexis + vampire, fic 13 is rose family + pumpkin carving, fic 14 is patrick hurts himself while carving a pumpkin, fic 15 is a trick or treater dresses up as David, fic 16 is Twyla makes a ~spooky~ smoothie, fic 17 is Patrick + scary movies, fic 18 is patrick + thriller, fic 19 is David and Patrick sharing a glass of wine next to a fire, fic 20 is someone TP's David and Patrick's house, fic 21 is jocelyn organizing a bake sale, fic 22 is jocelyn making treats for the bake sale, fic 23 is patrick wanting to out-decorate ronnie, fic 24 is david trying to affirm the fuck out of a boy wearing a princess costume for halloween, fic 25 is twyla discovers that all of alexis's costumes fall under the mean girls category, fic 26 is alexis lends twy clothes for a costume, fic 27 is alexis/twyla + costume party, fic 28 is johnny/moira + bats, fic 3 is stevie/twyla + seance, fic 4 is ray + pumpkin, fic 5 is david + hocus pocus, fic 6 is twyla + zombie, fic 7 is stevie + pumpkin, fic 8 is stevie + vampire, fic 9 is ronnie + haunted house, talk about a demon, there's a sacrificial crow
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-02
Updated: 2020-10-31
Packaged: 2021-03-07 21:01:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 28
Words: 10,884
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26764003
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/samwhambam/pseuds/samwhambam
Summary: A collection of October/Halloween inspired ficlets!Don't know how many there will be, but will update throughout October.
Relationships: Alexis Rose & David Rose, Patrick Brewer/David Rose, Stevie Budd/Twyla Sands
Comments: 243
Kudos: 101





	1. Fabian the Ghost

**Author's Note:**

> Ficlet #1 was based off the prompt: According to one of the SC extras, Alexis once dated a medium who gave her a ghost as a "gift." The ghost has grown irritatingly attached to David, and is very jealous of Patrick.
> 
> Characters mentioned: Alexis, David, Patrick, and Fabian the ghost.

“Alexis, you have to get rid of this ghost,” David said instead of a greeting. Alexis looked up from her economics textbook in time to watch David flap a hand around as he closed the door to their room with the other. 

She capped her highlighter and placed it alongside her phone. And fixed the chain that hung off her case so the rhinestones were facing up. Just so they could catch the light. 

“Um, good morning to you too, David,” Alexis pressed her fingers into the table. “And like I’ve said the  _ millions _ of times you asked, I’m not going to get rid of the ghost.”

“You have to!” David screeched. “It is literally ruining my life.”

“You just need to chill. It’s just a ghost! How can it be ruining your life??” Alexis stuck her chin out at him. Honestly, David could be so dramatic. 

“Patrick has been spending less time with me lately because of the ghost,” David muttered as he sat down on his bed. 

“Are you sure he’s not just like, distancing himself so he can break up with you?” Alexis had to ask. It was a possibility and she needed to be ready. Last time they almost broke up, she was locked away from her phone and had missed a text from  _ Ted _ .

David just glared at her. 

“You know how the ghost has always kind of gravitated towards me? Well, we think he’s getting jealous of Patrick,” David covered his face with his hands. He sounded  _ ridiculous _ . Alexis knew the ghost. It wasn’t one of those scary ghosts that could get jealous. Except, wait, for that one time when Alexis had a second ghost and okay, maybe. Alexis could see it happening again if she squinted.

Alexis got up and sat across from David. 

“Um, David,” Alexis tapped him on the knee with a finger. “What do you mean he’s getting jealous of Patrick?”

“I don’t know! But he always does stuff to annoy Patrick or try to hurt him,” David said through his fingers. “And I just, have tried so hard to get Patrick to keep liking me and I don’t want  _ this _ to be the reason he leaves. If he leaves, I want to personally be the reason.”

Ugh. Alexis looked towards her closet. 

“Like how badly is he getting hurt? Because Fabian is attached to a really nice bag,” As soon as Alexis said the words she  _ knew _ what she had said. “Okay fine! But you’re buying me a new bag, David!” 

  
  



	2. Ray + Demon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> For the prompt: ray + demon. thanks sonlali!
> 
> Mentions of a sacrificial lamb, but that turns into a crow at the end. 
> 
> Ray has to do the yearly feeding for the demon that lives in the woods outside Schitt's Creek.

There was a secret buried in the woods that surrounded Schitt’s Creek. In the thicket, where the sun didn’t reach the ground, past the fairy rings, so far out into the woods that many of the citizens of the town didn’t know it actually existed, was a staircase. 

The stairs were steep and dark, and standing at the top, you couldn’t see the bottom. You could hear echoes of something, of a soft growl and the swishing of a tail, could feel the sinister energy that radiated from the bottom. 

At the bottom of the stairs, was a monster, a creature that fed off the living once a year, on Halloween in exchange for not running rampant through town. 

Ray gripped the rope even tighter in his hand and took a deep breath in. 

“Ray, you are strong. You are capable. You are not afraid,” Ray muttered to himself. “You are not afraid. It’s just the woods. There’s nothing in the woods…”

He trailed off as an owl hooted in the distance. 

“You are not afraid,” Ray muttered again. “You are doing Ronnie a favor. The demon likes her. She likes you. Therefore, the demon likes you.”

Ray didn’t move. 

“Okay, I’m afraid, but it’s okay. I can do this,” Ray took one look down at the lamb that stood next to him. “I am so sorry.”

It just looked back up at him. 

“Just need to rip the bandaid off,” Ray forced himself to move. 

He knew the way. He had accompanied Ronnie multiple times over the years, but he still stumbled on the tree root that stuck up just a little too far out of the ground. He felt the guilt in his belly get heavier as the lamb made noise next to him. 

Ray let out a scream when a branch near him broke. 

“Please don’t hurt me, please don’t hurt me,” Ray repeated as he moved faster. “That was just a weak branch. There’s nothing there.”

It happened again and Ray took off running. He pulled at the lamb until the rope slipped from his hands and when he looked back, the lamb was gone. 

“Oh no!” Ray cried out. He spun in a circle, multiple times, but the lamb was gone, out of sight and Ray had to find something else to take to the … demon. 

He kept walking. He was almost there and panic was settling into his bones as he walked. He needed to find something, or else the demon would eat him, or worse, descend upon the town. 

“Ronnie just said alive, so technically, a worm will do,” Ray said with a nervous laugh. Talking to himself made him feel just a little better, but Ray would take what he could right now. 

Ray was close. There was an ornament hanging from one of the lower branches of the nearest tree. Which meant 30 more paces east. 

There was a weird gathering of branches on the ground and he knew he had found it. As if on cue, a crow landed on the branch next to him. 

“Heeeeey, buddy,” Ray reached out a hand.  _ It’s for the good of the town.  _ Ray hated everything about this, the fact that he had to touch a bird was included. The crow watched tentatively as Ray reached out and it didn’t even flinch as Ray grabbed it. “Oh no.”

He leaned down and moved the branches aside where they were plastered to a piece of plywood. 

“Um hello? Mr. Demon?” Ray called out. “Ray Butani here, of Ray Butani real estate?”

He knocked on the side of the stairwell. 

“I have a crow for you? Which, per the agreement is a live animal. The size was never specified, so I brought what I could,” Ray said. “I am also a notary, so if you need someone to amend that contract, I will happily do so. For a fee.”

There was a shift in the darkness and then Ray clenched his eyes shut as something reached out and snatched the crow out of his hand. 

“Oh thank god,” Ray took a step back. He took a deep breath in.  _ You are not afraid.  _ He turned around to walk away as the creature burped, but froze. He remembered what him and Patrick had talked about last week. He turned back to the stairwell and grabbed the plywood branch contraption. 

“Door open or door closed?”

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can send me little prompts (please stick to a character or combination of characters + a spooky or october or halloween thing) on my tumblr aka [here](https://samwhambam.tumblr.com/) !


	3. Stevie/Twyla + seance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Twyla invites her girlfriend, Stevie, to a seance.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to designatedgrape for the prompt request of Stevie/Twyla + seance. 
> 
> Definitely inspired me lol

“A seance?” Stevie asked. 

“Yes,” Twyla grinned at her. 

Stevie had come to the cafe to drink coffee and spend the morning before work with her girlfriend, but now Twyla, who was loading the sweets display with the pastries that Ivan had just brought in, was asking Stevie to join her in her annual pre-Halloween seance. Instead of sneaking into the kitchen to make out before George got there to turn on the grill. Which is what Stevie thought was going to happen when Twyla invited her last night.

“I uh,” Stevie trailed off. She had no reason to say no, except for the one where the idea terrified her. But this thing with Twyla was still relatively new and Stevie was still trying to seem hot and cool and like a good, no, decent person. The likelihood of her saying yes was too high for her liking. 

There was a soft scrape of ceramic against the counter and when Stevie blinked back into reality, she looked down to see the muffin that Twyla had placed in front of her. Double Chocolate Chip. She muttered her thanks and tore the top off. That was for after she finished the less satisfying bottom half. 

“Doesn’t your mom do this one with you?” Stevie said before she popped a bite into her mouth. She thought the pre-Halloween and Halloween seances were the ones that Twyla did exclusively with her mom. Something about trying to reach Twyla’s grandmother who was only on good terms with one of her children. So she never showed up if anyone else was there. 

Something like that. Twyla’s family tree was even more complicated than Stevie’s. And that was saying something. She kept eating her muffin as Twyla talked.

“Usually she does, but last year my mom was a little drunk and pissed off my Grandma and Grandma Patsy indicated that she’s not coming back if mom’s there,” Twyla sighed. She stacked the boxes and slid them onto a shelf behind the counter. 

“And me being there will make it better? Our families hate each other,” Stevie folded the empty muffin wrapper and placed it on the rim of her plate. All that was left was the muffin top and she needed—on instinct Twyla poured Stevie more coffee. 

“Grandma said, multiple times while she was alive, that you and Maureen were the only redeeming parts of your family,” Twyla leaned forward over the counter and kissed Stevie softly. Stevie barely had time to react before Twyla was pulling away, grin in place. “So I think things will go very well tonight.”

“Okay,” Stevie sighed. 

“Great, now eat the rest of your muffin. Remind me to get you a to-go cup of the new cold brew for you to try.”

When Stevie got to her office at the motel, she sat down, took a sip of her cold brew...which tasted a lot better than the last experimental batch and immediately googled  _ ‘how to have a seance.’  _

She lost track of time reading article after article until her laptop pinged at her and she got a reminder for a virtual meeting with Johnny that was to start soon. 

When she got to Twyla’s house that night, she was full of nervous energy. Twyla led her into the living room where the lights were dim save for a candle on the coffee table. There was a bundle of, cedar? And a pendulum. 

“Ready?” Twyla asked as she sat down on the floor. 

Stevie sat opposite her. The answer was no, but Twyla was looking at her with appreciation and Stevie could be brave for her. Also Twyla promised they could make out afterwards.

“Ready.”

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can send me little prompts (please stick to a character or combination of characters + a spooky or october or halloween thing) on my tumblr aka [here](https://samwhambam.tumblr.com/) !


	4. Ray+ (pre-carved) pumpkins

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The prompt was "Ray + pumpkins"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> for kira! oh how i enjoyed writing this lmao

Ray loved the holidays. He loved when the community came together to celebrate, he loved when he was able to go visit family, and he loved the limited edition products that came with the seasons. 

The holidays gave him the ability to start new businesses that otherwise wouldn’t thrive during the year. Christmas trees sold great in December, but the numbers were not the same that year he also tried to sell them in May. He thought they’d be a nice treat for Mother’s Day, instead of a bouquet of flowers, but that hadn’t gone as well as he’d hoped. 

This year, his Halloween-season venture was pre-carved Jack-o-lanterns for those who wanted it all, yet didn’t have the time. It made perfect sense! And the Rose Apothecary did not carry many Halloween decorations, so really, Ray would have a monopoly on the more traditional, pumpkin themed decorations. 

And that, he knew, was good business sense. 

He printed his flyers; black ink on very bright orange paper. He wanted people to look at it and think  _ ‘jack-o-lantern’.  _ He wanted it to be memorable. He handed out flyers at the cafe. Twyla seemed very enthusiastic about it. He asked Patrick to leave a few at the Apothecary. Not David though, Ray knew with which owner he had better odds. 

He left some at Brebners and town hall. He figured that was enough. He didn’t want to advertise  _ too  _ heavily. Not until he got into the swing of carving the pumpkins. 

When he got home, he changed into his “working clothes” and hunkered down on the porch with multiple pumpkins and various tools. And a bowl, for all the pumpkin guts. Efficiency is key in starting a new business. 

It took a long time to carve them all. A  _ long _ time and Ray was exhausted when he put the top on the last pumpkin. But he felt good. Nothing felt better than starting a new business. Well, making money from the new business felt better. But starting a new business was a close second. 

He left the pumpkins on his porch that night and when he woke up, he was ready to get them all sorted and ready to post on his social media. Except…

“Oh no!” Ray gasped when he opened his front door. 

They were already moldy. Some of them were slumped and gooey and they made Ray want to vomit. He didn’t do well with mold. He didn’t trust things that were naturally that fuzzy. 

He made his way back through the house to the backyard. 

“There are so many pumpkins,” He whispered as he stared at all the pumpkins that were around his yard. What was he—oh!

“A pumpkin patch!” Ray exclaimed. His voice rang out through his empty yard. 

He went back inside to change. He needed to get those flyers back—fast. 

He could already see it:

_ “Ray’s Pumpkin Patch! No mold, guaranteed!”  _

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please feel free to send me prompts on [tumblr](https://samwhambam.tumblr.com/) !


	5. David + Hocus Pocus

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Patrick finds out that David's never watched Hocus Pocus.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The prompt was "David + Hocus Pocus"
> 
> Thanks for the prompt dameofpowellestate! <3

It was their first Halloween together and David wasn’t sure what was going to happen. Patrick was … enthusiastic about holidays, from what David could tell. And David hadn’t celebrated any holidays since the move. Patrick had started mentioning plans in September, products they needed to sell to take advantage of the seasonal stuff everyone loved. He had mentioned Halloween decorations and David had compromised with tasteful wreaths and a few other, handmade knick knacks. 

And it pained him to say, but the hand blown glass pumpkins were flying off the shelves.

David was leaning on the counter as he played around on his phone. They were in their usual pre-lunch lull and David could hear the printer in the back room turn on. They didn’t use it much, but Patrick still insisted on getting one for necessary paper trails.

There was a rustle behind him and David straightened up in time for Patrick to put something down in front of him. 

“What’s this?” David asked as he picked up the paper. 

“It’s the drive in’s schedule for October,” Patrick said with an eyebrow raise. 

“They’re playing Hocus Pocus on Sunday night,” Patrick tapped the Sunday square. “We should go. Usher in the Halloween season appropriately.”

David bit back a smile at Patrick insisting on the appropriateness of a dumb holiday. Even before he lost his money, it was just another night in a club, drinking and getting high. Halloween wasn’t a thing for him. 

But he knew he’d go with Patrick, who was looking at him like all he wanted to do in life was go to the drive in to watch a children’s Halloween movie. Except…

“So, fun fact,” David gave a little shoulder shimmy, just to distract Patrick from what he was going to say. “I’ve never actually watched Hocus Pocus before.”

Patrick blinked at him. And then again. Then his cute little eyebrows furrowed in the middle with all their might. 

“You’ve never watched Hocus Pocus?” Patrick clarified. 

“That’s correct,” David said. He picked up the paper and skimmed the rest of the movies. “I haven’t seen any of these. Besides the Rocky Horror Picture Show.”

“You haven’t seen Halloweentown?” Patrick sounded incredulous. 

“I’m pretty sure that when it came out, I was already past the age where I would feel inclined to watch it,” David explained. “I will not go into details about what age that was.”

“But Hocus Pocus?” Patrick wrapped his hands around David’s biceps. “David, that has to change.”

Patrick’s voice was so serious, but he had that glint in his eye that David really liked. 

“Sunday?” David asked, just a little breathless. 

“Yeah,” Patrick squeezed once, then twice. 

“Can we take the good snacks?” David knew Patrick would say yes, but they both liked when David asked. 

“You know it.”

Sunday night, they parked in the first row and both pushed their seats as far back as they could. David pulled the bag of snacks from the backseat and handed Patrick the bag of kettle corn and his own bag of peanut butter m&ms. 

*

“Patrick!” David turned to him after the movie. “Patrick.”

“You’re welcome,” Patrick smiled at him. 

“When’s the next time they’re showing it?” David had to ask. He wanted to watch it again. 

“They’re doing every Sunday and then on Halloween night as part of a double feature. Hocus Pocus and Halloween,” Patrick pulled his seat back up. 

“That’s a weird combination,” David commented. 

“They both take place on Halloween night.”

He plugged the aux cord into his phone. 

Patrick sang along as “I Put a Spell On You” began to play over the speakers. 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feel free to send prompts to my [tumblr](https://samwhambam.tumblr.com/)!


	6. Twyla + zombie

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zombies have taken over and Twyla gets a visitor as she is tending to the Schitt's Creek Community Garden.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For Lali, who said "Twyla + zombies" and I said fuck yeah.

It was quiet since the virus took over, the dead awoke and the world ended. Twyla looked up from where she was kneeling in the garden. It was her week to tend to it and the rustling of the trees nearby always frightened her. 

Sometimes it was the wind...sometimes it was worse, and Twyla was never prepared for either. 

She pulled the last carrot from the ground and was about to throw it into the basket when she heard a gunshot. 

Her heart began to beat furiously and she grabbed the bat she had dropped onto the ground. She should go back to camp, hide with the others to see if more zombies would come, attracted to the noise of the gunshot. 

But what if there was only one person out there and too many zombies for them to fight off?

She took off running into the trees. Her heart was pounding in her ears, she was beyond terrified of what she was going to find, but she had to go help. 

There was more rustling. 

Twyla followed the sound, but came to a stop when the rustling intensified. It came from all around her and she knew she had made a mistake. 

She should’ve gone into town. 

The gun strapped to her back was useless. It was out of ammo and she only had a bat to protect herself from what sounded like  _ multiple  _ zombies. 

The rustling got closer and Twyla held her breath. 

Maybe if she ran really fast and aimed for between two zombies, she could get away. 

She could do it. 

Before she could, the noise got louder and then a figure emerged through the trees. 

  
  



	7. Stevie + pumpkin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stevie goes to a pumpkin patch with Twyla, David and Patrick.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> jan, jan, thank you ma'am.

Stevie was overwhelmed. There were too many pumpkins to choose from and David and Patrick had disappeared to make out. She was all alone, in the middle of the largest pumpkin patch in the greater Elm-area. 

A murder of crows had descended on Rays pumpkin patch and pecked the pumpkins to shreds. So Patrick offered to drive them out to the “Great Elm Pumpkin Patch.” Even Twyla tagged along, but she was in line for spiked apple cider. 

So Stevie was alone alone. Staring at pumpkins. Trying to pick one to carve. 

She was tempted to pick the ugliest one just to mess with David, but she had to carve it. Teasing David was her life’s mission, but not when it made her life harder. 

She picked up a pumpkin. It was round and the perfect shade of pumpkin orange, and there was a long mark on it, running from the top of it down towards the halfway point. 

It could be the pumpkins battle scar. 

Stevie held onto it as she walked. 

She could pick a white pumpkin. Just to do something different. David would hate that it didn’t match the others since it was going on his stoop. 

But it wasn’t screaming at her. 

“Stevie!” 

Stevie turned around to face Twyla who was walking up to her, two cups of spiked cider in her hand. 

“I think I found the perfect pumpkin,” Twyla handed her a cup. “Are David and Patrick still off making out?”

“Yeah,” Stevie followed Twyla to the pumpkin she wanted. 

“What do you think?” Twyla asked as she slapped the pumpkin in question. “Has a nice hollow thud to it.”

It was … ugly. 

“It’s very unique,” Stevie said instead. It was misshapen, bulging in some places and then dented in others. It even had a pale orange spot where it was sitting on the ground. 

“Well, no one else is going to pick it. So I might as well,” Twyla said with a shrug. “Can you hold my drink?”

Stevie took it and Twyla picked up her pumpkin, tucked it under her arm and they walked over to the bales of hay set out for seating. 

“You know David is going to hate your pumpkin, right?” Stevie asked. 

Twyla just took a sip of her drink, but her eyes sparkled over the top of the cup. 

  
  



	8. Stevie + vampire

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Musings from Stevie, the vampire.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you nontoxic <3

There were a few things Stevie missed from her mortal life. 

She missed sleeping; the feeling of waking up after a particularly good nap still haunted her at times. That first stretch after realizing you’ve been asleep for  _ hours  _ is a feeling she hasn’t been able to replicate. 

The thing is, Stevie is lazy and she loves that about herself. Loves that she’s satisfied and content with simple, hassle free things that mean she can spend more time doing what she loves. 

Which used to be sleeping. 

She missed being able to have a quick, mess free snack whenever she was even a hint hungry. Now it was “find a body and hope they’re not a squirter” and hope you’re able to wash your clothes before the blood sets and stains. 

She had gotten pretty good at it, but everyone was different, so the results of the feeding were still hit or miss. 

David had suggested a cup after she told him about the whole vampire thing. She had brought up that she would still need to get the blood in the cup, so the dilemma wasn’t fixed. 

Patrick had suggested a Dexter-type situation with tarps and plastic, all while laughing the entire time. She didn’t take him seriously. At all. 

Twyla had mentioned magic could help, but Stevie wasn’t sure that her spells could transfer onto Stevie. 

Ronnie suggested that she trade in the vampire for werewolf and had offered her a spot in her pack, but Stevie wasn’t sure that she could give up the vampire part of her, or if she even wanted to be a werewolf. 

Being a vampire did have its perks. 

She wasn’t afraid anymore. Of anything. 

She had endless commentary when she watched vampire-themed movies with David and Patrick, that always left David mortified.

She had all the time in the world to do whatever she wanted.

But even that came with a downside. 

She was watching her friends and loved ones grow older each year while she didn’t. 

It hurt to see and there was no getting used to it. 

She thought she would get used to it, that she wouldn’t care about that. At least she didn’t when she was turned at 29. 

But now, she had people she cared about, people she wanted to have shared experiences with…

One day she would find vampires to become friends with, but right now she was going to enjoy every moment she could with her people. 

  
  



	9. Ronnie + Haunted House

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ronnie in charge of setting up a haunted house for the Halloween season.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> for lali

Ronnie took pride in everything she did. 

She only did work that she was proud of. If she was going to lay a tile, it was going to be the best damn tile. 

And if she was going to put together a haunted house attraction for Halloween, she was going to make the scariest haunted house she could. 

The attraction had taken a full eight months to plan and countless hours to make the decorations.

It turned out amazing. 

Better than Ronnie could’ve ever imagined. 

It had opened on October 1st to a small crowd, but had quickly grown in popularity once the word got out. People started to come from all the Elm’s and Ronnie watched in satisfaction as the attendance numbers went up. 

Word traveled quick.

Ronnie went to the attraction on Halloween night, where she planned a few extra surprises, just to celebrate the holiday. She hung out at the entrance with Darci, taking people’s tickets. 

With each set of screams, Ronnie smiled bigger and bigger until she was grinning. 

Yeah, she didn’t do anything half assed. 

  
  



	10. Bob + ghosts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bob has a conversations with the ghosts in his house one morning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> for jaaaaaan

“Good morning, Roger,” Bob said. There was a flash above him and then a wispy face materialized right above him. 

“Mornin’ Bob!”

Bob got out of bed and made his way to the kitchen. It was time for coffee and a bagel and then he was off to the garage. 

“You know what’s delectable?” A voice said from Bob’s side. He looked over to see Cassidy perched on the edge of the counter, legs crossed and dressed in her flapper dress. “A fresh bagel. Nothing tastes better than a fresh bagel.”

“I still can’t talk Johnny into it,” Bob sighed. “Tried giving him the money and everything, the man won’t budge.”

“Need me to speak to him?” 

Bob turned around to face the other ghost; after he slipped the bagel into the toaster.

“No, Hauffen,” Bob shook his head. “You have a very physical definition for the word ‘talking’.”

“He’ll listen,” Hayden grunted. 

Bob sighed. “Something tells me Johnny’s not the kind to respond well to that.”

“Does this Mr. Johnny not know what a fresh bagel tastes like?” Cassidy picked at the bagged bagels that Bob hadn’t put away yet. “Or does he only eat these disaster out attempts at the Lords greatest gift to mankind?”

“I don’t know,” Bob sighed. 

There was a scraping at the back door and the ghosts disappeared as Gwen walked in through the back door. 

  
  



	11. David + witchcraft

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> David is born with a curse.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For lali <3
> 
> Don't look too hard into this one lol. i hand waved every bit of the curse thing

David learned about the curse when he turned 29 and found out that Sebastien had been fucking around on him. He had found out after Sebastien had come over with bruises and told him about the person he’s seeing and their husband that had come home while Sebastien was in bed with their partner. 

David had gone to his parents house after Alexis pulled him from his mountain of mall pretzels.

“Oh, David, why do you even try?” His mother had crooned. “You know about the curse. It’s just not in the cards for you, dear. True love will break it, but every person you’re with gets hurt while with you.”

That’s when he learned that his father had struck a deal with a witch. A curse on his first born for all the wealth he could desire. 

David thought he just had really,  _ really  _ bad luck. 

The wealth had come with a clause, it seemed. They lost all their money and Johnny had spent days mumbling about how the witch had tricked them. 

The wealth was gone, but David’s curse stuck. 

His fling with Stevie was short-lived and she was left with a broken heart. Sebastien had come back for a night but was in a fender-bender on the way back to the airport. The thing with Jake had been a disaster and Jake had almost lost a finger while working. 

So yeah, David was still stuck with the curse and they were poor and living in a motel. 

Then he met Patrick and he didn’t want to like him. Patrick was nice, the nicest person David had ever met, and David was scared of how Patrick could get hurt. Except, David was sure Patrick could never be into him, so David liking him had to be okay?

Since it would never work. 

And David liked liking him. It was … different than all the other times before. 

In the car, after David’s birthday, David wasn’t thinking about the curse when he kissed Patrick. All he could think at the moment was  _ Patrick, Patrick, Patrick.  _

So he kissed him and it was perfect and it wasn’t until later that David was reminded of the curse. When he was in the shower and the birthmark, that his mother pointed out after Sebastien as being a curse mark, was gone.

The only thing David could hear in his mind was  _ ‘true love’.  _


	12. Alexis + Vampire

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alexis has a fling with a vampire.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For Lali, my queeeeen.

Alexis shivered as she approached the building. Javier wasn’t the first vampire she had a fling with, and he wasn’t going to be the last. She would stop dating vampires at 30, she decided. 

But at 23, she couldn’t resist their sultry glances and steely demeanors and the  _ thrill  _ of laying underneath them, knowing that at any second, it could all become too much and she’d be bitten. 

It was the  _ best  _ feeling.  _ Exciting _ .

She pushed the front door open and shivered as the creak broke through the silence. 

“Alexis!” Javier’s voice boomed down the staircase. 

Alexis pushed her hair off her shoulder so the curls trailed down her back, exposing her neck. 

“I’m here!” She called back up as she walked towards the staircase. “I’m ready for you.”

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> feel free to send in some prompts!


	13. Rose Family + pumpkin carving

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> David and Patrick carve pumpkins and talk about David's Halloweens growing up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lali lali lali <3

“You’ve really never carved a pumpkin before?” Patrick asked as he scooped a handful of seeds out of his pumpkin. 

“Nope.”

Patrick looked up. David grimaced as he stuck his hand into his own pumpkin. “We weren’t really the pumpkin carving type of family.”

The slap of the pumpkin guts in the bowl was loud and wet and Patrick laughed as David full body shivered. 

“I bet you were,” David said. 

“Yeah,” Patrick smiled at the memory of carving pumpkins next to his parents. “You should see if they want to join us next year…”

Patrick trailed off. This was their first Halloween together, and they were still tip-toeing around the topic of the future. 

David laughed. “Oh my god, imagine my mom doing this?”

Patrick had to join along in laughing. Mrs. Rose would hate it. 

“I’m barely doing this,” David murmured. He took the scraping tool from the middle of the table. 

“But you are,” Patrick kicked at David’s foot under the table. David smiled softly down at his pumpkin.

“My mom would make my dad do hers,” David continued. “Alexis would try to convince you to do hers for her.”

“Which, I would say no,” Patrick responded. 

“Everyone would get too drunk,” David picked up his glass. “This is empty.”

Patrick laughed. He wiped his hands on the towel he slung over his shoulder. 

“I’ll get you another,” Patrick stood up. He pressed a kiss to David’s temple and took his cup. “I think it could be fun, though.”

“Maybe,” David’s voice was quiet. 

Patrick poured them more of the spiked cider.

“Maybe next year,” David whispered. 

Patrick smiled at him. After all they’ve been through in the last five months, that statement was music to Patrick’s ears. 

  
  



	14. Patrick hurts himself while carving pumpkins

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Patrick hurts himself while carving pumpkins, David frets.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> kira kira kira <3
> 
> this comes a day late because i spent all evening yesterday crying over haunting of bly manor

Their second year together, it didn’t take much to get David into the Halloween spirit. The store’s calendar filled quickly and Halloween themed activities began the first weekend of October. 

They stayed late at the store on the last day of September to make sure the store was appropriately decorated for the season.

“We need jack-o-lanterns,” David said when they opened on the 1st. 

“We can get those fake carvable pumpkins so we don’t have to worry about them rotting,” Patrick suggested. 

“Fake?” David grimaced. “Fake doesn’t really fit with the aesthetic of the store.”

“Are you going to carve pumpkins every week?” Patrick countered. 

“Oh god no.”

David knew himself and what he was capable of and wanted to do and that wasn’t it. 

“We could carve some for the first weekend and then for Halloween?” Patrick suggested. 

David hummed. He raised his arms and Patrick nestled himself in underneath them. “Sounds like a compromise I will make if I need to.”

*

“Fuck!”

David looked up quickly to see Patrick suck the tip of his finger into his mouth. David looked down in confusion and noticed the blood drip on the pumpkin Patrick was carving. 

“Patrick!” David gasped. He put down his own knife and moved around the table towards his boyfriend. 

“‘M fine,” Patrick murmured around his finger. 

“Ugh,” David grimaced as Patrick pulled his finger from his mouth. There was  _ a lot  _ of blood. He grabbed a clean napkin and wrapped it around Patrick’s finger. David left to get the first aid kit and when he came back, Patrick was holding the knife again in his napkin-wrapped hand. “No! Put the knife down!”

Patrick’s eyes were sheepish as he put down the knife. 

“Give me your hand,” David held out his own hand. Patrick placed his in David’s and David unwrapped it. He worked quickly, but efficiently to get Patrick cleaned up and bandaged appropriately. 

When Patrick picked up his knife again, David gave him a weary look.

“I’ll be careful,” Patrick promised. 

David still wasn’t sure and he kept a very close eye on Patrick as he finished carving his pumpkin. Any time Patrick’s pumpkin looked too slippery, David reached over and wiped it down. Patrick rolled his eyes each time David did, but his smile was soft and David wanted his boyfriend to keep all his fingers. 

  
  



	15. A trick or treater dresses up as David.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A trick or treater dresses up as David.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the spiffy prompt, spiffy! (okay that didn't work as well as i wanted it to but i tried)

“A firefighter!” Patrick mock gasped as he picked a few pieces of candy out of the bowl. He threw a look back at the store. “I’m sorry, but we don’t have any fires.”

The toddler just looked up at him with wide eyes. 

“What do you say?” The woman behind the kid prompted. 

“Trick or treat,” The kid sniffled. 

Patrick dropped the candy into the kid’s pumpkin basket with a wide smile. 

“Got the other bag of candy,” David said as he settled onto the seat next to Patrick. 

“David,” Patrick reached out and grabbed onto David’s arm. 

David hummed in acknowledgement. 

“David,” Patrick said sternly as he watched the kid coming up to the store. “David!”

“What?!” David replied as he ripped open the bag. 

“Look! That kid’s dressed up as you!” Patrick couldn’t contain his excitement. 

Walking up to the store was the little four year old that always came in with his mom—regulars in the store. He was wearing black jeans, a black skirt on top, a black and white sweater and white sunglasses. 

“Wha—oh no,” David murmured from next to him. 

“David!” Patrick tightened his grip on David’s arm. “That’s so adorable.”

“Hey!” Stacey said as her and her son, Daniel, stopped in front of them. 

“Trick or treat!!” Daniel cheered. 

Patrick grabbed a handful of candy and dropped it into the pumpkin Daniel was barely holding onto. 

“When I asked him what he wanted to be,” The mom explained. Patrick looked over at David who looked stunned. “He said David.”

“I need a picture,” Patrick stood up and dropped the bowl of candy onto his now vacant chair. “Can we take a picture for the store’s instagram? Of Daniel and David.”

“Sure!” Stacey kneeled down next to her son. “Do you want to take a picture with David?”

“Yeah!” The boy shook with excitement and reached towards David. 

“Oh, I don’t know,” David said. 

“Please David? He dressed up as you,” Patrick pointed out. “Imitation is a form of flattery.”

David rolled his eyes and stood up slowly. 

“Let’s get this over with.”

The picture went up on the instagram and both David and Stacey got framed copies. 

  
  



	16. Twyla makes a ~spooky~ smoothie!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Twyla makes a ~spooky~ smoothie. Alexis tries it and it's...not the worst thing she's put in her mouth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For the tinn man who is in desperate need of a heart.

“Um, Twy,” Alexis pressed an index finger against the side of her smoothie. 

“Yes Alexis?” Twyla turned to her with a dazzling smile. 

“What is this?” Alexis waved a finger around the smoothie. It was dark purple...but also brown...and green. 

“Oh! It’s a spooky smoothie! I’ve been feeling the Halloween spirit lately,” Twyla folded the towel she was holding. Alexis bit back a grimace. 

“What makes it spooky?” Alexis asked. Twyla was looking at her expectantly and she let out a soft groan as she pulled the glass towards herself. 

“Oh, you know, a little of this, a little of that,” Twyla gestured around her. “A dash of Halloween magic.”

Alexis paused with the straw halfway to her mouth. 

“Not literal magic, though, right?” Alexis had to be certain. She wasn’t making that mistake again. 

“Oh no of course not,” Twyla waved a hand in front of her. “You should only share magic with people who are consenting.”

Alexis nodded as she finally took a sip…

It was amazing…

“Twy!” Alexis gasped. “This is really good!”

“Thanks,” Twyla beamed. 

“No, Twy, like this is really good,” Alexis took another sip. “Like, you need to keep it on your menu year round.”

“Well, candy corn might be hard to find in June,” Twyla said. “But I can try.”

Alexis just shook that thought right out of her head. 

  
  



	17. Patrick + scary movies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Patrick gets very freaked out after watching The Exorcism of Emily Rose

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> for lali <3

Patrick loved scary movies in that way where he enjoyed the thrill of watching them. He loved when they got his adrenaline pumping, when he had to reach for David during a jump scare just to tether himself to reality. 

He loved them, but they always left him on edge for a bit after watching them. 

David on the other hand? He said he didn’t love them, but he was always ready with snacks as soon as Patrick mentioned it. 

“What’re we watching tonight?” David asked. It was their first Halloween season in Patrick’s new apartment. 

“Something scary?” Patrick grabbed David’s wine glass from the dining table and a fresh beer for himself out of the fridge. 

David got up and helped Patrick set up. Snacks and drinks on the coffee table, curtains drawn, and the lights off. 

“Slasher, ghost or demon?” Patrick asked as he turned the tv on. 

“Demon,” David settled into the couch with his wine. 

“Based on a true story?”

David hummed in agreement. 

That’s how they settled on The Exorcism of Emily Rose and how Patrick found himself awake at 1:30 in the morning while David slept peacefully next to him. 

His mind was racing as it replayed the movie. 

Patrick had made a mistake. After the movie he had done a brief google while David was in the bathroom. He had talked himself out of listening to the audio recordings of her exorcisms, but now, laying in bed, unable to sleep, Patrick was going to do it. 

He couldn’t hold himself back anymore. 

He grabbed his phone, went into the kitchen to avoid waking David, googled and then hit play on the audio. 

He lasted 45 seconds before he closed the browser, locked his phone and got back into bed to shake David awake. 

Yeah, Patrick made a mistake. 

  
  



	18. Patrick + thriller

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Patrick tells David about when he participated in a group dance to 'Thriller'.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sojiiiiieeeee, this ones for you!

“David,” Patrick sighed as he cut into the pumpkin cheesecake he had spent most of the day working on. “You had to have done something embarrassing around the holidays in school.”

“Nope,” David poured them each another glass of wine. “That’s the perks of going to a  _ really  _ expensive private school. Anything we did in any performance, was choreographed by a professional and of the utmost quality.”

“Okay, but even with those, you had to have done something that you wish you hadn’t had to have been a part of,” Patrick grabbed their plates and moved to join David at the dining table. 

“I never actually participated, outside of the drama elective course I did my senior year,” David said. “Why, what was yours?”

Patrick tucked himself into his seat and picked up his fork. 

“I don’t know if I want to say,” Patrick murmured. He had mentioned it in hopes of trading embarrassing stories, but it was never as much fun when it was one-sided. 

“Oh, come on,” David smirked as he stole a bite of Patrick’s cheesecake. Patrick hit his fork away when David swooped in a second time. Patrick stole a bite of David’s in retaliation. 

“Fine,” Patrick sipped from his glass of wine. “So all the sports teams performed little things at the rallies throughout the year before their seasons.”

Patrick laughed at David’s grimace. 

“One year we did a dance to ‘Thriller’,” Patrick continued. “Dressed as zombies.”

“No,” David whispered. 

“Yeah,” Patrick wrinkled his nose. 

“I’ve seen you dance,” David shook his head. “You’ve got legs like tree trunks.”

Patrick ignored that comment. 

“Is there uh, any video proof of that?” David asked. Patrick narrowed his eyes at him. “It’s okay. I’ll just text your mom in the morning.”

  
  



	19. David and Patrick share a drink next to a fire.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> David and Patrick share a drink next to a fire while away at a cabin for the weekend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here you go bb

“More wine?”

David turned his head up as Patrick’s footsteps came closer. 

“Yes, please,” David raised his glass and Patrick topped it off before coming round to sit in the chair next to him. 

The fire pit crackled in front of them, and the wine bottle made a hollow sound as Patrick set it on the ground between their chairs. 

“Do we have to go back?” David asked. He propped his feet up on the tabletop that ran along the firepit. 

He looked over to see Patrick, eyes closed with a small smile. 

“I think we do,” Patrick murmured. There was a light sheen of sweat at his temples, and the fire played off the wine glass he held between his fingers. “We have a lot of Halloween events coming up and neither of us trust anyone to run it in place of us.”

“I’m so tired from Thanksgiving,” David whined. He slumped further back into his chair and held out his hand. Patrick’s fingers tangled in his. 

“It is nice to be out here with you,” Patrick said. “Just the two of us. No family walking in on us. No Roland at the store.”

“Shh,” David tugged on Patrick’s hand. “No talking about Roland in paradise.”

Patrick chuckled. David drained his glass and then got up, letting Patrick’s hand slip from his. 

He went into the cabin they were renting for the weekend. After a quick trip to the bathroom and the kitchen to grab a glass of water, he went back outside and draped himself over Patrick’s lap. 

“You know, there’s no one around…” David trailed off. “And if we go back closer to the porch, we’ll be far away enough from the fire to be near bugs.”

“David Rose, are you hinting at a night time rendezvous in the forest?” Patrick gasped, scandalized. 

“It’s an exclusive, one time offer,” David shimmied his shoulders. “You should take advantage while the offer lasts.”

“Do I get an extra gift with a promo code?” Patrick’s grin was cheeky. David kissed it right off his face. 

“Come find out.”

  
  



	20. Someone TP's David and Patrick's house.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Someone TP's David and Patrick's house.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For elsie, hope you enjoy it my dear!

One of the best things David had ever done, was convince Patrick that they should always open the store late on November 1st. It made sense. Why open early the day after a holiday whose activities were planned around the night time?

It was their first Halloween in their new home. They had spent the late afternoon handing out candy at the store, then rushed home to catch the first wave of night time trick-or-treaters.

And David had spent the entire morning of November 1st showing Patrick just how much he appreciated their new tradition. 

But now they were a little late to open the store. Patrick had difficulty finding a sweater to cover the hickeys David had left a little too close to the base of his neck, and this time, David was the one to usher Patrick out of the house. 

Except he stopped dead in his tracks with one foot out the door. 

“What?” Patrick huffed behind him. 

“Patrick,” David reached behind him, grabbed Patrick by the wrist and pulled him out onto the porch next to him. 

Their yard was covered in–

“Is that toilet paper??” David shrieked. “Is there toilet paper in our front yard?!”

Patrick rushed away from David and began to pull at the toilet paper that hung from the nearest tree. 

David’s phone vibrated in his pocket, and when he pulled it out, there was one text message from  _ Roland??  _

_ Trick or treat, Dave! _

  
  



	21. Jocelyn organizes a bake sale for school.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jocelyn needs a little help setting up Schitt's Creek High's annual Halloween bake sale.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tinn tinn tiinnnnnnn

Jocelyn had a secret and that was that she had grown to hate the holidays. Well, mostly holidays at the school. Holidays with both Rollie’s were still magical and full of wonder.

But at the school? Oh boy! Jocelyn was stretched thin. During her first year at Schitt’s Creek High, she had volunteered to organize the bake sales since the teacher that usually did it was out because of a bad case of the measles contracted over the summer. 

The teacher had ended up retiring and Jocelyn had been stuck with the task ever since. 

It was fun at first, but wow, organizing  _ multiple  _ bake sales was tough work and Jocelyn needed a break. At least for  _ one  _ of the holidays. Halloween was her least favorite of the trifecta, so handing that one off made sense.

She needed someone’s help. Someone who had the aptitude for planning.

Jocelyn stopped at the Rose Apothecary after school on October 3rd. 

“Hey Jocelyn,” Patrick called out as Jocelyn walked up to the register. 

“Hi Patrick,” Jocelyn shook her head in greeting. “Is David around?”

“Yeah, he’s in the back,” Patrick disappeared through the curtain.

Jocelyn drummed her hands on the counter as she waited for David. When he came out, his eyebrows were raised and he looked flustered. 

“What can I do to get you out of my store, Jocelyn?” David asked. He eyed her wearily and she knew she could get him to agree. 

“Well, Halloween is coming up,” She started. David nodded slowly. “And as you know, I’m in charge of the bake sales the school puts on. Been doing it every year. For so long. So many years. And it really starts to get to ya.”

“I could only imagine,” David whispered with a grimace. 

“Yeah, and it turns out! I really need a break this year. Just for the Halloween bake sale,” Jocelyn continued. “And when I was thinking about who should take over for me, I could only think of one person.”

“No,” David whispered as he shook his head. 

“I asked myself: who did I think could run it on semi-short notice with grace? And you know David, I think you’d be perfect for the job,” Jocelyn concluded. “You could give it the Rose Apothecary twist that the town seems to love. It could be really good for you and the store’s image. You’d be remiss to not take the opportunity.”

David just stared at her. 

“I have my planning folder right here,” Jocelyn pulled the folder from her shoulder bag. “Let me know if you have questions!”

She left before David could say anything else. 

She knew she could count on him. 

  
  



	22. Jocelyn makes Halloween treats

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jocelyn makes Halloween treats.
> 
> A continuation of the previous part where Jocelyn asks David to organize the bake sale. 
> 
> Well, ask might be a strong word for what actually happened.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lali, lali, my darling!

Since Jocelyn wasn’t in charge of organizing the bake sale, that meant she had a lot more time on her hands to do things she actually enjoyed. Like, baking for the bake sale. 

She had a lot of nanaimo bars she wanted to make. Her Halloween themed batches sold so quickly. The green and orange food dye she added to the custard layer really set the mood for Halloween. She’d make multiple batches of each and mix them on the plates. 

Next were cupcakes with the black, orange, white, and purple sprinkles she got in Elmdale. 

Her last treat was just regular chocolate chip cookies. Those were Bob’s favorite and he tended to stop by early and buy them all. 

She saved enough treats to feed both Roland’s when they walked into the kitchen looking for goodies, and wrapped them up quickly before bed. 

The next day, she showed up with the treats piled high in Rollie Jr.’s wagon as he puttered along behind her. 

“Jocelyn!” David exclaimed as she approached the table. “So nice of you to stop by to help!”

“Oh, sorry David, but I’m just here to drop off my contribution!” Jocelyn unloaded the sweets onto the table. “Gotta get this little one back to the house for a nap! He’s been very cranky lately.”

“Funny, I was just saying the same thing about David,” Patrick joked as he came up to help Jocelyn lay out the treats. She laughed with him. 

“You know David, try not to work too hard,” Jocelyn waved a hand over the table. “I know how exhausting it can be to run one of these things. Thanks so much for offering to run it!”

“Did I offer to help?” David asked, voice high and thin. “Cause I seem to remember you not letting me say no.”

“Oh, don’t worry about the details,” Jocelyn laughed. “They’ll just get you down.”

Jocelyn looked around at the table that had been set up outside the store. 

“Everything looks nice,” Jocelyn commented. 

“Of course it does,” David shook his head. “Were you expecting anything else?”

“Just something different,” Jocelyn said. David looked ready to make a comment, which Jocelyn took as her cue to leave. “Well, I’ll leave you to it! I’ll be back to collect the money later!”

Jocelyn turned around, ushered Rollie Jr onto the wagon and they made their way back home. 

  
  



	23. Patrick really wants to step up his Halloween decorations to out-decorate Ronnie.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Patrick really wants to step up his Halloween decorations to out-decorate Ronnie.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> for spiffy!

There was a list of things that Patrick had been looking forward to when they first moved into the cottage. Most of them were things with David, or things he wanted to do as a surprise for David, like setting up the back porch so it was perfect for lazy summer nights. 

But the thing he was most excited for, was decorating for the holidays. He was excited to hang the lights for Christmas, and for the jack o lanterns they’d line the long driveway with.

For their first Halloween, Patrick had gone simple with the decorations. They didn’t have a lot of money to spend as they were furnishing a whole house and not just a studio apartment, but Patrick did what he could as David rolled his eyes at him. 

Patrick made lists throughout the year, plans for how he wanted the front of the house to look, budgets and links to DIY decorations that he probably wouldn’t make, but it’d be nice to aspire to be that crafty. 

With each Halloween that passed, Patrick got more and more ambitious and he had his eyes set on a … slightly different prize. 

With each Halloween that passed, Ronnie also got better at decorating her house for Halloween and Patrick was determined to out-decorate her. He could do it. He knew he could. 

He had all the same things she had. He had more skeletons than he knew what to do with, multiple mummies and zombies, some that were robotic and some that weren’t.

“David, I need your help,” Patrick said on September 1st. 

“With?” David set down his book as Patrick sat on the couch next to him, a sketch of their yard and multiple spreadsheet print outs in hand. 

“Designing the front of the house for Halloween,” Patrick murmured as he shuffled the papers. “I think we can beat Ronnie for the new town wide Halloween contest.”

“I don’t think I really want to get in between you two?” David sighed as he shifted on the couch until he was leaning back against the arm of the couch with his feet stretched towards his husband. 

“Please, David? Just some simple, baseline ideas?” Patrick held out the papers to his husband. “I tried coming up with some things for this year, but nothing’s good enough. I don’t have your eye for design.”

David just stared at him and Patrick tilted his chin up in question and batted his eyelashes at David. 

“Ugh, fine, but if she asks, you did it all on your own!”

  
  



	24. David tries to affirm a boy wearing a princess halloween costume.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> David opens the door to see a little boy dressed as Belle, which is, hands down, the best Disney princess. He tries to affirm him, but it's David, so it kind of misses the mark.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For spiffy! This isn't exactly what you asked for, but i hope it still hits some of the boxes.

Most Halloween costumes were awful. That was a fact that David felt deep in his heart. Most costumes were tacky and not flattering. Halloween itself? David could get behind as long as it fit his specific vision. But the costumes? No.

Patrick had scolded David the first time David handed out candy, for not commenting on kid’s costumes. David had thrown his hands in the air and asked Patrick what he wanted from him. 

Apparently it wasn’t enough to give random, stranger children candy? David had to talk to them and make “appropriate” comments about their awful costumes. 

Four years later and David had made  _ a lot  _ of progress. His comments sounded a lot less sarcastic and some were almost genuine. 

Their doorbell rang and Patrick shifted off of David. 

“It’s your turn,” Patrick murmured as he reached for a cookie on the coffee table. 

David sighed as he got up and grabbed their bucket of candy and went to open the front door. 

In front of him were two children. One was dressed as a firefighter and the other wore Belle’s yellow gown from the cartoon, not the live action version of Beauty and the Beast. 

“You both are wearing high quality costumes. Whoever bought these for you made some very correct choices,” David said as he dropped candy into the firefighter’s basket. 

“Thanks! Dad bought ‘em for us. I said I wanted to be a firefighter. Justin,” The firefighter elbowed the kid next to them. A long braid swung out from their helmet as they turned to look back quickly. “Couldn’t decide if he wanted to be Belle or Ariel and I told him that Belle was the better princess.”

“Belle is the better princess!” David dropped candy into Justin/Belle’s basket. He grabbed extra candy and dropped it into both of their baskets. “Ariel has a few redeeming qualities. But Belle is just over all better.”

David popped a hip and leaned against the doorframe. 

“You chose the better Belle dress too,” David continued. “Emma Watson did not know what she was doing when she helped design Belle’s gown. It takes place in 1760 France. It’s not historically accurate. At all!”

He heard a cough behind him. 

“Well, you both look fantastic,” David gave them more candy. “I like what you both have done and you have won best dressed for the evening.”

They both stared at him.

“Does that mean he liked my dress?” Justin asked their sibling as they turned to walk away. 

“I think so,” The firefighter said. “He was kind of weird.”

David felt his mouth drop as Patrick laughed behind him. “I do like your dress! Keep doing what you’re doing!”

Patrick laughed even louder.

“I was just trying to compliment them and validate them both!” David said as he turned around to face his husband. “But now that I think about that whole interaction, I can see how I might have come off a little weird.”

“Hey, you tried,” Patrick took the bucket of candy from him. “That was nice of you. Telling him, in your own way, that you liked his dress.”

“Well it was a good dress,” David wrapped an arm around Patrick’s shoulder. “And that child has good taste.”

  
  



	25. Twyla discovers that all of Alexis's past costumes all fall under the Mean Girls category.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Twyla discovers that all of Alexis's past costumes all fall under the Mean Girls category.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> for doingthemost! hope you enjoy it!
> 
> as much as i love alexis, we all know she probably made some very bad choices when it came to halloween costumes when she was young. but she's doing better now.

Twyla smoothed out the flyer that Ronnie had just dropped off. Town council was throwing a community-wide Halloween party with a costume contest. She considered her costume options. There might be something deep in her closet. Or maybe she could go to the Spirit Halloween in Elmdale and find something. Something with a wig could be fun. 

“Hey Twy!” Alexis said as she slid onto a stool in front of the counter. 

“Smoothie time?” Twyla considered Alexis’ running clothes. 

“Yes please!”

Twyla went into the kitchen. She was feeling very blue and green today, so she grabbed the blueberries and the spinach from the fridge. And a few other things. 

When she returned with Alexis’ smoothie, Alexis had the flyer in her hands. 

“Um, I didn’t know there was a costume party!” Alexis said as she waved the paper. 

“They just announced it,” Twyla handed her the smoothie. “Are you going to go?”

“Of course,” Alexis pulled the smoothie closer to herself. “I never turn down the chance to party. Also, Halloween is a very good look for me. What’re you going to wear?”

“I haven’t decided yet. I was actually thinking about going to Spirit Halloween on Thursday,” Twyla said. 

“Ew, why would you do that?” Alexis pulled her phone out of her windbreaker pocket. “Come sit down. I’ll show you my past Halloween costumes and we can get some inspiration. You are not going to go looking like an actual zombie.”

Twyla rounded the counter and sat next to Alexis. 

Alexis pulled up her Halloween photo album on her phone and began to swipe through. 

There was the year before they came to Schitt’s Creek where Alexis was wearing a black body leather bodysuit with cat ears. 

Then the year before that which was a lace bodysuit with lace bunny ears. There was another with a gray negligee with mouse ears. There was a tiny festival-inspired outfit where she was wearing fox ears. 

“That one was the year Coachella had a secret Halloween party with an exclusive guest list,” Alexis said with a soft voice and a far off look in her eyes. She swiped to the next photo, but skipped past it quickly. “Yeah, that one was a bad year, so we’re just going to ignore it. I had no idea what cultural appropriation was so I’ll just delete that one.”

Alexis tilted her phone away from Twyla as she deleted the photo with a grimace. 

“That one too,” Alexis deleted another one. “Okay this one is cute.”

Twyla raised her eyebrows at the Alexis on her phone wearing underwear and large feather wings. 

“Are there any where you’re not wearing sexy clothing and an animal accessory? Or lingerie,” Twyla asked. “I don’t think that the Mean Girls look is the one for me.”

Alexis grimaced in confusion. “What do you mean?”

“The Mean Girls thing?” Twyla asked, just as confused. Alexis nodded as she pulled at her hair. “About just wearing animal ears as a costume.”

“Oh! Yeah!” Alexis picked up her phone again and scrolled quickly through the photos. “Actually, no, I don’t have any not based on that. But!”

She tapped on Twyla’s wrist. “I do have an idea though. I think you would make a  _ perfect  _ angel. I have the perfect dress for you.”

Twyla considered it. Mrs. Odette could probably make her some wings before the party. It could work.

  
  



	26. Alexis lends Twy clothes for her costume.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alexis lends Twy clothes for her costume.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For TINN! <3

Twyla knocked on the door to Alexis’s room. The tote bag she was carrying was heavy and had everything she needed for her costume, except for the dress she was going to borrow from Alexis. 

“Oh my god, Twy!” Alexis exclaimed as she opened the door. She reached past Twyla’s shoulder and stroked at the wings that peeked over. 

She had  _ almost  _ everything in her bag. The wings wouldn’t fit and they were too pretty for Twyla to try to shove them in. 

“They’re gorgeous!” Alexis turned Twyla around so she could look at them. “The dress is going to look so good with them!”

It was going to. Twyla had already been by to try it on. It fit like a glove and Twyla had asked Mrs. Odette to add light blue feathers to the wings to match the jewelry that Alexis was also letting her borrow. 

Alexis ushered Twyla inside.

“David’s at Patrick’s so we don’t have to worry about his weird negative energy,” Alexis explained. She tapped at the back of a chair. Twyla shrugged off her wings and placed them gently on Alexis’s bed. “Makeup first and then we’ll change and go.”

Twyla sat as Alexis brushed a light gold highlight over her cheekbones and a gold shimmer eyeshadow over her eyelids, a nude lipstick with a glittering lip gloss. 

After she was done, Alexis got up and pulled the dress from her closet. She held it out to Twyla with a soft shake. 

“Go put it on!”

In the bathroom, Twyla slipped the white chiffon over her head. She adjusted the spaghetti straps so they laid flat on her shoulders, and smoothed the flowy fabric over her abdomen. She turned as she looked at herself in the mirror. 

She felt good. 

They finished getting ready in a rush and soon there was one angel and one devil standing in the middle of the motel room. Alexis was wearing a long red dress and devil horns nestled in her curled hair. 

“We look so good,” Alexis said. She held up her hand and Twyla smiled as she high-fived Alexis. 

“We do,” Twyla shifted her hips so the chiffon fluttered around her knees. “Okay, we gotta go so we don’t miss the costume judging!”

  
  



	27. Alexis/Twyla + costume party

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alexis and Twyla win the costume contest! Kinda like a pt 3 to the 2 chapters before.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For lali! My queen!!

“So, a couple’s costume?” David asked. 

Alexis hummed around the grape she had just popped into her mouth. 

“You and Twyla,” David raised his eyebrows at her and Alexis rolled her eyes at him. “Any updates on that?”

“Ugh, David,” Alexis turned away from him to face the crowd. Twyla was talking to Stevie across the room. She had seen them sneak out with a few other people, and they had come back with glassy eyes and were buzzing around the snack table. 

“So you still haven’t figured out how to ask her out yet?” David came up next to her. 

Alexis huffed, but smiled quickly when she made eye contact with Twyla. 

“Alexis, she’s so into you,” David held his plate out to Alexis and she took another grape. “She flirts with you every time she sees you at the cafe. Which is really gross because she even does it when I’m there and it’s gross to watch someone shamelessly flirt with my sister.”

“Okay, but like, girls flirt with each other all the time—”

“They really don’t,” David interrupted. “Also Twyla doesn’t flirt with everyone. Apparently, some people are just nice and it’s not even flirting?”

“What?” Alexis asked. She turned to David. “Wait, so you think Twyla is actually into me?”

“That’s what I just said!” David exclaimed past a bite of spinach dip. 

“Ew, David! Don’t talk with your mouth full!” 

Alexis turned to look at Twyla who was now standing by herself. 

She turned back to David. 

“How do my horns look?” She asked as she fluffed her hair. 

“Like you were born with them.”

“Drink luminol, David!” Alexis said as she turned away from David. 

Okay, she was going to ask Twyla to dance. 

“Okay,” Alexis murmured under her breath as she fluffed her hair one last time. “Okay.”

“Hey, Alexis!” Twyla smiled at her. 

“Um, Twy,” Alexis placed an index finger on Twyla’s wrist. “Would you maybe want to dance with me?”

Instead of answering, Twyla put her drink down and held out a hand to Alexis. 

“Wait,” Alexis said. She pulled back gently on Twyla’s wrist. 

“Is everything okay, Alexis?” Twyla asked.

“Yeah, it’s just… I’m asking you to dance. Like, I’m asking you to  _ dance _ ,” Alexis blinked. 

“What?” Twyla looked confused. “Oh!”

“Yeah,” Alexis wrapped her free hand around Twyla’s. “So, like, obviously we’re going to dance. Just know, that I enjoy dancing with you.”

“Okay, this is kind of confusing, but if you’re asking to go on a date, the answer is yes, and if you’re asking to dance now, the answer is still yes,” Twyla said. 

“Oh, yay! Twyla! Love this journey for us.”

They were a sight to behold on the dancefloor, the angel and the devil. 

They won the costume contest, and snuck away with their trophies for a trip to the cafe for a nightcap. 

  
  



	28. Johnny/Moira + Bats

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There's a bat at the motel!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lali, this is NOT my best work, but I hope you enjoy it! 
> 
> HAPPY HALLOWEEN FRIENDS. I hope everyone is able to celebrate in a safe way, especially now that we're in the holiday season.

There was nothing that Johnny Rose loved more than basking in the glow of a successful business. It’s why he never sold Rose Video, even though he had been approached on that subject many times. 

Now with the slow build of the Rosebud, he was starting to feel that feeling again. It had been rocky at first, rebuilding the brand’s reputation, as Alexis says.

He was just about to check the ledger when he heard a loud scream that sounded like—

“JOHN!”

Johnny took off at the sound of his wife calling his name. She was right outside of the office door, eyes trained upwards. 

“John! The motel is infested with Chiropterans!” Moira pointed at one part of the roof. “I saw one take wing up into that hole right there!”

“Chiropterans?” Johnny asked. He couldn’t see anything in the hole that Moira mentioned. 

“Bats, John!” Moira turned to him. “Bats! Is it not penance enough that we must spend our days in this motel? And now the motel is infested with winged rodents, fluttering back and forth during the daytime?”

“It’s okay sweetheart,”Johnny ushered Moira towards their room. “I’ll call Roland and have him come take a look.”

“We musn’t let the other patrons see them, John,” Moira said as Johnny opened the door for her. 

“Well, Moira, I’m sure they probably heard you yelling about them,” Johnny said as they both sat on the end of the bed. 

“It’s best you go call Roland, then John, before the patrons mosey out of their room and take a gander to try to locate the creatures themselves.”

“Okay, Moira,” Johnny patted her knee gently. “I’ll let you know when the situation gets taken care of.”

  
  



End file.
